by Shiv Charan Singh
(an excerpt from his workshop on Love, Leamington Spa, September 2011)
The driving force behind everything is love. A baby gets disappointed because it realises the love from the parents is not unconditional. You came into the world with an inherent expectation to receive love; to give and receive love. This was already inside you because who would have told a small baby that s/he was going to get unconditional love? You come into the world knowing something about love. It’s the prior condition in the entire universe. But we can’t take unconditional love – it’s a scary place. Maybe I’m not ready to give it or receive it. So I dress love up in all sorts of costumes which aren’t the real love but are part of the journey to the real love. You know you have to be educated into conditional love and then we build within us the capacity for the unconditional love.
When we realise we want the true love, we then have to dismantle or dissolve all the other conditional love structures. We want to know what is true love. We begin to want to know the truth. True love has to become love of the truth. And we have to survive to tell the tale. We have to build inside us towards being on the threshold of Divine Love. Truthfulness is a pre-requirement. You have to have love of truth to get to true love which can take you to Divine Love. You can’t go to true love if you don’t love the truth. Love of truth gives you the strength to stay present, in the heart.
“I’ve found my true love” is often a phantom. True love is not something you find out there. True love comes from where you give. However, if I didn’t project the love, I might never find the true love. It’s a paradoxical situation. I go to the Gurdwara because I feel my true love is there. But then Shabd Guru tells me the love and the treasures are inside. It’s a paradox.
True love is always inside. Something you give, not find. We have to deconstruct both the projected love and the conditional love. And we can’t experience and know self-love without loving the other. The ultimate other is God. All loves of the other are stepping stones to the ultimate other, God. God and me, me and God, are One.